The movies of 2010 that I saw (all of them)

by John Topping on February 13, 2011

in Film

Post image for The movies of 2010 that I saw (all of them)

Stage and Cinema continues its traditional mid-February publication of   our Best(-and-then-some) Lists of the past year’s movies.

Here is my list.   As always, I prefer to include every film I’ve seen, so if I name something as the worst of the year, you can check the list and say, “Oh, but he didn’t see Burlesque or Little Fockers.”   (The former of which I actually want to see, despite or because of its reported ineptitude; the latter of which I’m glad I missed.)

By the way, you can click on the thumbnail images if you want to see the full, enlarged version of each poster.

BEST LIVE ACTION FILM OF THE YEAR

Winter’s Bone

.

.

.

.

BEST ANIMATED FILM OF THE YEAR

The Illusionist

.

.

.

FUNNIEST FILM OF THE YEAR


Get Him To The Greek

.

.

.

MOST IMPORTANT DOCUMENTARY

Inside Job

Though it may require several viewings to comprehend thoroughly, it’s the clearest explanation of how The Recession happened and why we’re in our current mess

.

BEST GAY FILM OF THE YEAR

I Love You Phillip Morris

(er, uh, that is, best film of the year with characters who happen to be gay)

.

.

BEST USE OF 3D TECHNOLOGY

Jack-Ass 3-D

So wrong and yet, somehow, so right.

.

.

MOVIES I WAS SUPPOSED TO LIKE AND, AS IT HAPPENED, DID, PROVING ONCE AND FOR ALL THAT I’M WAY SMART

Animal Kingdom

Most shocking non-violent opening scene of the year.

.

.

Another Year

.

.

.

.

The Ghost Writer

You go, Roman Polanski

.

.

A Prophet

Includes the best razor-blade-in-mouth scene of the year

.

.

FILMS I MOST ENJOYED ON A PURELY PLEASUREABLE LEVEL

Babies

“[fill in the blank] Porn” has become a sort of do-it-yourself catchphrase, having started (to my knowledge) with the influx of films that came to be known as “Torture Porn” (Saw, Saw II, Saw III, Saw IV, Saw V, etc., Hostel, Hostel II).   You can apply it to anything you like to watch.   For example, people who like charts now have their own website, Chart Porn (http://chartporn.org/).   Having qualified that, I can now tell you:   I am totally into Baby Porn, and this film is currently the king of it.

The King’s Speech

As filmmaking, it may be common; but as pseudo-high brow entertainment, it’s royal

.

.

Oceans

I am also into Ocean Porn and all such varieties of Nature Porn

.

.

Toy Story 3

The feature as well as the delightful opening short, “Day and Night”

.

.

True Grit

Jeff Bridges is at the top of his form.

.

.

.

FRESHEST SURPRISE

Tiny Furniture

.

.

.

BEST BOXING PORN

Boxing Gym

.

.

.

MOST OVERLOOKED FILM OF THE YEAR

Mother and Child

.

.

.

BEST ITALIAN FILM

Mid-August Lunch (Pranzo Di Ferragosto)

.

.

.

MOVIES I WAS SUPPOSED TO LIKE BUT WHICH I WAS KIND OF NEUTRAL ABOUT, PROVING ONCE AND FOR ALL THAT I’M PRETTY MUCH A BONEHEAD

Blue Valentine

.

.

.

.

The Social Network

.

.

.

.

White Material

.

.

.

.

A FILM THAT PROBABLY NO ONE BUT ME LIKED

Enter The Void

.

.

.

MOVIES I LIKED UP UNTIL THEIR EXTREMELY DISAPPOINTING ENDINGS

The Kids Are All Right

Why is Mark Ruffalo cast as the villain at the end?   Damn you, Lisa Cholodenko, for absorbing me into the story and then kicking me in the balls.

.

,

The Last Exorcism

Funny because, while watching it, I recall thinking that it was superior to The Blair Witch Project, which brought to mind Blair Witch‘s cop-out ending, and then what do they do but end it the EXACT same way.

.

.

MOVIES I CAN’T REMEMBER WHETHER I LIKED OR NOT

The Extra Man

.

.

.

.

Greenberg

Though I do remember being glad that Ben Stiller is stretching beyond the stupid kiddie comedies he usually does (at least this one time).

.

.

Life During Wartime

Though I do remember that I liked it MUCH more than Happiness, the film to which it is sort of a sequel

.

.

MOST LITERATE FILM OF THE YEAR

My Dog Tulip

That is, it’s almost like reading a book and watching a movie at the same time, as it relies heavily on the source material.   Still, it works, though the heavy narration may leave some perplexed.

hh.

DON’T KNOW IF I WOULD HAVE BEEN ABLE TO FOLLOW IT HAD I NOT PREPARED MYSELF IN ADVANCE TO CONCENTRATE

Inception

.

.

.

MOST INSPIRATIONAL FILM IN TERMS OF
(1) GETTING YOURSELF UP,
(2) BRUSHING YOURSELF OFF,
(3) STARTING ALL OVER AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN

Joan Rivers: A Piece Of Work

.

.

.

I JUST LOVE THAT PAUL GIAMATTI

Barney’s Version

.

.

.

I JUST LOVE THAT EDDIE MARSEN

The Disappearance Of Alice Creed

.

.

.

BEST TSUNAMI SCENE IN MOVIE HISTORY SO FAR

Hereafter

.

.

.

YOU WILL LIKE OR DISLIKE THIS PROTOTYPICAL LATE-STAGE WOODY ALLEN FILM WITH A LONDON LOCALE DEPENDING ON YOUR OPINION OF OTHER LATE-STAGE WOODY ALLEN FILMS WITH LONDON LOCALES

You Will Meet A Tall Dark Stranger

.

.

.

WAS 3D REALLY NECESSARY?

Legend of the Guardians: The Owls of Ga’Hoole

.

.

.

THE YEAR OF JAMES FRANCO

127 Hours

As the marquee of the Nuart in Los Angeles put it:   “The most disarming drama of the year.”   I didn’t care much for the film, but Jimmy Francs was terrific

.

Howl

The other James Franco movie in 2010, and in which he was equally wonderful.   As poet Allen Ginsberg, it is at least his second time playing a gay character.     It was watching him in this film, seen by most people before 127 Hours, that I first thought he might be nominated.

He is an excellent actor and so imminently watchable and likeable.

On the other hand …

PLEASE STOP ACTING IN MOVIES, BEN AFFLECK!

The Town

People are taking this film seriously?   Seriously?   Come on, it was mediocre at best.

.

.

The Company Men

Okay, so this is among his best performances, but dammit, that doesn’t make it okay.   The film itself would have been better as a cable special than a theatrical release.   Terrible ending, which even the film’s defenders agree upon.

Okay, now, listen to me, Ben.   Go ahead and direct as much as you want; and please DO make more appearances on Real Time with Bill Maher; but please please PLEASE STOP ACTING IN MOVIES!!

Wouldn’t you rather do TV, anyway?   You’d be perfect for it!

TOOK THE LONGEST TO SURRENDER TO ITS STYLE

I Am Love (Io sono l’amore)

.

.

.

MOST “WHAT THE FUCK AM I WATCHING?” OF THE YEAR

Dogtooth (Kynodontas)

By the end, you do piece together what the fuck you’re watching, and it’s some pretty fucked up shit, indeed.

.

BEST SCHLOCK THAT KNOWS IT’S SCHLOCK

Piranha 3-D

Intentionally funny, but if only it had been intentionally even funnier

.

IT’S FRENCH; IT’S CUTE

Micmacs

.

.

.

MOST DEPRESSING FILM OF THE YEAR

Biutiful

Butt finaly sumwon maid a moovie that spelt carrectly!

.

SOMETIMES A PLAY SHOULD SIMPLY REMAIN A PLAY

Jack Goes Boating

.

.

.

THE MOST EXTREMELY WELL-MADE “HO HUM” FILM OF THE YEAR

Tangled

.

.

.

ADD IT TO THE “NOT SCORSESE’S BEST” PILE

Shutter Island

.

.

.

A FILM I DIDN’T LIKE, BUT WHICH NONETHELESS HAD SOME THOROUGHLY ENGAGING SEQUENCES

Love & Other Drugs

.

.

.

THE FILMS I LIKED THE LEAST

Alice In Wonderland in IMAX 3-D

.

.

.

.

The Fighter

.

.

.

.

Never Let Me Go

But I recommend the book.

.

.

Rare Exports: A Christmas Tale

The worst Santa Claus movie ever, though possibly tied with Santa Claus – The Movie

.

.

Tron: Legacy

The worst look of a film ever

.

.

MOST RIDICULOUS FILM THAT’S INEXPLICABLY BEING TAKEN SERIOUSLY

Black Swan

Unlike Piranha 3-D, this is schlock that thinks it’s art.   Wake me up when the critics confess that they were just kidding.

.

.

.

johntopping @ stageandcinema.com

Read Kevin Bowen’s list

Read Harvey Perr’s list

BEST LIVE ACTION FILM OF THE YEAR

Winter’s Bone

BEST ANIMATED FILM OF THE YEAR

The Illusionist

FUNNIEST FILM OF THE YEAR

Get Him To The Greek

MOST IMPORTANT DOCUMENTARY

Inside Job

Though it may require several viewings to comprehend thoroughly, it’s the clearest explanation of how The Recession happened and why we’re in our current mess

BEST GAY FILM OF THE YEAR

I Love You Phillip Morris

(er, uh, that is, best film of the year with characters who happen to be gay)

BEST USE OF 3D TECHNOLOGY

Jack-Ass 3-D

So wrong and yet, somehow, so right.

MOVIES I WAS SUPPOSED TO LIKE AND, AS IT HAPPENED, DID, PROVING ONCE AND FOR ALL THAT I’M WAY SMART

Animal Kingdom

Most shocking non-violent opening scene of the year.

Another Year

The Ghost Writer

You go, Roman Polanski

A Prophet

Includes the best razor-blade-in-mouth scene of the year

FILMS I MOST ENJOYED ON A PURELY PLEASUREABLE LEVEL

Babies

“[fill in the blank] Porn” has become a sort of do-it-yourself catchphrase, having started (to my knowledge) with the influx of films that came to be known as “Torture Porn” (Saw, Saw II, Saw III, Saw IV, Saw V, etc., Hostel, Hostel II). You can apply it to anything you like to watch. For example, people who like charts now have their own website, Chart Porn (http://chartporn.org/). Having qualified that, I can now tell you: I am totally into Baby Porn, and this film is currently the king of it.

The King’s Speech

as filmmaking, it may be common; but as pseudo-high brow entertainment, it’s royal

Oceans

I am also into Ocean Porn and all such varieties of Nature Porn

Toy Story 3

The main attraction as well as the brilliant opening short, “Day and Night”

True Grit

Jeff Bridges’ is at the top of his form.

FRESHEST SURPRISE

Tiny Furniture

BEST BOXING PORN

Boxing Gym

MOST OVERLOOKED FILM OF THE YEAR

Mother and Child

BEST ITALIAN FILM

Mid-August Lunch

MOVIES I WAS SUPPOSED TO LIKE BUT WHICH I WAS KIND OF NEUTRAL ABOUT

Blue Valentine

The Social Network

White Material

A FILM THAT PROBABLY NO ONE BUT ME LIKED

Enter The Void

MOVIES I LIKED UP UNTIL THEIR EXTREMELY DISAPPOINTING ENDINGS

The Kids Are All Right   – most disappointing ending to an otherwise first rate film

The Last Exorcism – funny because, while watching it, I recall thinking that it was superior to The Blair Witch Project, and then thought about that disappointing ending to TBWP, and then what do they do but end it the EXACT same way.

MOVIES I CAN’T REMEMBER WHETHER I LIKED OR NOT

The Extra Man

Greenberg

Life During Wartime

MOST LITERATE FILM OF THE YEAR

My Dog Tulip

DON’T KNOW IF I WOULD HAVE BEEN ABLE TO FOLLOW IT HAD I NOT PREPARED MYSELF IN ADVANCE TO CONCENTRATE

Inception

MOST INSPIRATIONAL FILM IN TERMS OF (1) GETTING YOURSELF UP, (2)  BRUSHING YOURSELF OFF, (3) STARTING ALL OVER AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN

Joan Rivers: A Piece Of Work

I JUST LOVE THAT PAUL GIAMATTI

Barney’s Version

I JUST LOVE THAT EDDIE MARSEN

The Disappearance Of Alice Creed

BEST TSUNAMI SCENE IN MOVIE HISTORY SO FAR

Hereafter

A PROTOTYPICAL LATE-STAGE WOODY ALLEN FILM

You Will Meet A Tall Dark Stranger

WAS 3D REALLY NECESSARY?

Legend of the Guardians: The Owls of Ga’Hoole

THE YEAR OF JAMES FRANCO

127 Hours

As the marquee of the Nuart in Los Angeles put it: “The most disarming drama of the year.” I didn’t care much for the film, but he was terrific

Howl

The other James Franco movie in 2010, and in which he was also wonderful. As poet Allen Ginsberg, it is at least his second time playing a gay character. It was watching him in this film, seen by most before 127 Hours, that I first thought he might be nominated.

He is an excellent actor and so imminently watchable and likeable.

PLEASE STOP ACTING IN MOVIES, BEN AFFLECK!

The Town

People are taking this film seriously? Seriously? It was mediocre at best.

The Company Men

Okay, so this is among his best performances, but dammit, that doesn’t make it okay. You can still see him thinking about his acting and not being in the moment. The film itself would have been better as a cable special than a theatrical release. Terrible ending, which even the film’s defenders agree upon.

Okay, now, listen to me, Ben. Go ahead and direct as much as you want; and please DO make more appearances on Real Time with Bill Maher, but please please PLEASE STOP ACTING IN MOVIES!!

Wouldn’t you rather do TV, anyway? You’d be perfect for it!

TOOK THE LONGEST TO SURRENDER TO ITS STYLE

I Am Love

MOST “WHAT THE FUCK AM I WATCHING?” OF THE YEAR

Dogtooth

(By the end, you mostly realize what the fuck you’re watching, and it definitely stays with you)

BEST SCHLOCK THAT KNOWS IT’S SCHLOCK

Piranha 3-D

Intentionally funny, but if only it had been intentionally even funnier

IT’S FRENCH; IT’S CUTE

Micmacs

MOST DEPRESSING FILM OF THE

BEST LIVE ACTION FILM OF THE YEAR

Winter’s Bone

BEST ANIMATED FILM OF THE YEAR

The Illusionist

FUNNIEST FILM OF THE YEAR

Get Him To The Greek

MOST IMPORTANT DOCUMENTARY

Inside Job

Though it may require several viewings to comprehend thoroughly, it’s the clearest explanation of how The Recession happened and why we’re in our current mess

BEST GAY FILM OF THE YEAR

I Love You Phillip Morris

(er, uh, that is, best film of the year with characters who happen to be gay)

BEST USE OF 3D TECHNOLOGY

Jack-Ass 3-D

So wrong and yet, somehow, so right.

MOVIES I WAS SUPPOSED TO LIKE AND, AS IT HAPPENED, DID, PROVING ONCE AND FOR ALL THAT I’M WAY SMART

Animal Kingdom

Most shocking non-violent opening scene of the year.

Another Year

The Ghost Writer

You go, Roman Polanski

A Prophet

Includes the best razor-blade-in-mouth scene of the year

FILMS I MOST ENJOYED ON A PURELY PLEASUREABLE LEVEL

Babies

“[fill in the blank] Porn” has become a sort of do-it-yourself catchphrase, having started (to my knowledge) with the influx of films that came to be known as “Torture Porn” (Saw, Saw II, Saw III, Saw IV, Saw V, etc., Hostel, Hostel II). You can apply it to anything you like to watch. For example, people who like charts now have their own website, Chart Porn (http://chartporn.org/). Having qualified that, I can now tell you: I am totally into Baby Porn, and this film is currently the king of it.

The King’s Speech

as filmmaking, it may be common; but as pseudo-high brow entertainment, it’s royal

Oceans

I am also into Ocean Porn and all such varieties of Nature Porn

Toy Story 3

The main attraction as well as the brilliant opening short, “Day and Night”

True Grit

Jeff Bridges’ is at the top of his form.

FRESHEST SURPRISE

Tiny Furniture

BEST BOXING PORN

Boxing Gym

MOST OVERLOOKED FILM OF THE YEAR

Mother and Child

BEST ITALIAN FILM

Mid-August Lunch

MOVIES I WAS SUPPOSED TO LIKE BUT WHICH I WAS KIND OF NEUTRAL ABOUT

Blue Valentine

The Social Network

White Material

A FILM THAT PROBABLY NO ONE BUT ME LIKED

Enter The Void

MOVIES I LIKED UP UNTIL THEIR EXTREMELY DISAPPOINTING ENDINGS

The Kids Are All Right – most disappointing ending to an otherwise first rate film

The Last Exorcism – funny because, while watching it, I recall thinking that it was superior to The Blair Witch Project, and then thought about that disappointing ending to TBWP, and then what do they do but end it the EXACT same way.

MOVIES I CAN’T REMEMBER WHETHER I LIKED OR NOT

The Extra Man

Greenberg

Life During Wartime

MOST LITERATE FILM OF THE YEAR

My Dog Tulip

DON’T KNOW IF I WOULD HAVE BEEN ABLE TO FOLLOW IT HAD I NOT PREPARED MYSELF IN ADVANCE TO CONCENTRATE

Inception

MOST INSPIRATIONAL FILM IN TERMS OF (1) GETTING YOURSELF UP, (2) BRUSHING YOURSELF OFF, (3) STARTING ALL OVER AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN

Joan Rivers: A Piece Of Work

I JUST LOVE THAT PAUL GIAMATTI

Barney’s Version

I JUST LOVE THAT EDDIE MARSEN

The Disappearance Of Alice Creed

BEST TSUNAMI SCENE IN MOVIE HISTORY SO FAR

Hereafter

A PROTOTYPICAL LATE-STAGE WOODY ALLEN FILM

You Will Meet A Tall Dark Stranger

WAS 3D REALLY NECESSARY?

Legend of the Guardians: The Owls of Ga’Hoole

THE YEAR OF JAMES FRANCO

127 Hours

As the marquee of the Nuart in Los Angeles put it: “The most disarming drama of the year.” I didn’t care much for the film, but he was terrific

Howl

The other James Franco movie in 2010, and in which he was also wonderful. As poet Allen Ginsberg, it is at least his second time playing a gay character. It was watching him in this film, seen by most before 127 Hours, that I first thought he might be nominated.

He is an excellent actor and so imminently watchable and likeable.

PLEASE STOP ACTING IN MOVIES, BEN AFFLECK!

The Town

People are taking this film seriously? Seriously? It was mediocre at best.

The Company Men

Okay, so this is among his best performances, but dammit, that doesn’t make it okay. You can still see him thinking about his acting and not being in the moment. The film itself would have been better as a cable special than a theatrical release. Terrible ending, which even the film’s defenders agree upon.

Okay, now, listen to me, Ben. Go ahead and direct as much as you want; and please DO make more appearances on Real Time with Bill Maher, but please please PLEASE STOP ACTING IN MOVIES!!

Wouldn’t you rather do TV, anyway? You’d be perfect for it!

TOOK THE LONGEST TO SURRENDER TO ITS STYLE

I Am Love

MOST “WHAT THE FUCK AM I WATCHING?” OF THE YEAR

Dogtooth

(By the end, you mostly realize what the fuck you’re watching, and it definitely stays with you)

BEST SCHLOCK THAT KNOWS IT’S SCHLOCK

Piranha 3-D

Intentionally funny, but if only it had been intentionally even funnier

IT’S FRENCH; IT’S CUTE

Micmacs

MOST DEPRESSING FILM OF THE YEAR

Biutiful

Butt finaly sumwon maid a moovie that spelt carrectly!

SOMETIMES A PLAY SHOULD SIMPLY REMAIN A PLAY

Jack Goes Boating

MOST RIDICULOUS FILM THAT’S INEXPLICABLY BEING TAKEN SERIOUSLY

Black Swan

THE MOST EXTREMELY WELL-MADE “HO HUM” FILM OF THE YEAR

Tangled

ADD IT TO THE “NOT SCORSESE’S BEST” PILE

Shutter Island

A FILM I DIDN’T LIKE, BUT WHICH NONETHELESS HAD SOME THOROUGHLY ENGAGING SEQUENCES

Love & Other Drugs

THE FILMS I LIKED THE LEAST

Alice In Wonderland in IMAX 3-D

The Fighter

Never Let Me Go

Rare Exports, A Christmas Tale –

The worst Santa Claus movie ever, though possible tied with Santa Claus – The Movie

Tron: Legacy

The worst look of a film ever

YEAR

Biutiful

Butt finaly sumwon maid a moovie that spelt carrectly!

SOMETIMES A PLAY SHOULD SIMPLY REMAIN A PLAY

Jack Goes Boating

MOST RIDICULOUS FILM THAT’S INEXPLICABLY BEING TAKEN SERIOUSLY

Black Swan

THE MOST EXTREMELY WELL-MADE “HO HUM” FILM OF THE YEAR

Tangled

ADD IT TO THE “NOT SCORSESE’S BEST” PILE

Shutter Island

A FILM I DIDN’T LIKE, BUT WHICH NONETHELESS HAD SOME THOROUGHLY ENGAGING SEQUENCES

Love & Other Drugs

THE FILMS I LIKED THE LEAST

Alice In Wonderland in IMAX 3-D

The Fighter

Never Let Me Go

Rare Exports, A Christmas Tale –

The worst Santa Claus movie ever, though possible tied with Santa Claus – The Movie

Tron: Legacy

The worst look of a film ever

{ 6 comments… read them below or add one }

Michael Kearns February 20, 2011 at 12:18 pm

Mr Topping, is (no surprise) more entertaining than most movies I’ve seen,

Reply

John Topping February 22, 2011 at 1:57 am

Thanks, Michael!

Reply

Honey Ward February 20, 2011 at 1:50 pm

127 hours “disarming” – ha

Reply

John Topping February 22, 2011 at 1:58 am

Tee hee!

Reply

Tim Bellen February 20, 2011 at 8:32 pm

LOVE THIS SITE!

…but what you didn’t mention about the Black Swan was the incredible camera operating and focus pulling.

…and how craaaazy cute Natlie is.

Gooooooooooooooo John!

Reply

John Topping February 22, 2011 at 2:05 am

Tim

I did think about how impressive the focus pulling was. The camera operation was nothing less than genius; the only reason I didn’t walk out altogether.

I actually liked Mila Kunis even more than Nattie Ports.

Thanks!

Reply

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