by Mary Herd on November 9, 2023

in Extras

Have you ever assessed how good you are at your flirting? It might not be a topic you’ve ever felt the need to appraise objectively. But if you’re single and actively seeking a significant other, then it’s a subject you’ll need to pay some attention to! Brushing up on your flirty conversational skills could work wonders for your confidence and self-esteem. If you also happen to be a film buff, then you’re already at an advantage. Over the decades, countless movie plots have relied on central characters demonstrating their flirting abilities. Tuning into this action could provide you with some excellent tips – whether you aim to search for prospective partners in social situations or, as is increasingly becoming equally popular, tap into online dating.

The fine art of flirting

An important aspect of mastering the ability to flirt is understanding what isn’t flirting. There’s one word you always have to keep in mind. Subtlety. Perhaps you have someone in your social circle known for being much more forward than you. Brash, even. Could you easily imagine them just marching up to someone they’re interested in, and outright asking for a date? In most cases, the object of their affection will see this as a turn-off. Anyone capable of displaying such forthright behaviour is probably likely to do this all the time. This hardly makes them seem trustworthy. No, flirting well requires far more imagination, and a terrific place to ‘learn as you go’ would be to check out a dating outlet focused on naughty hookups. Signing up for these digital matchmaking platforms is straightforward, and once you’re on board, you can dip into chat rooms and meet a cross-section of amiable individuals. None of them will react well to strangers being blunt with them. The key is to think of this interaction as a friendly way of getting to know a potential partner. Apply your movie knowledge. Dirty Dancing. Sleepless in Seattle. Dangerous Liaisons. Pretty Woman. The dialogue in these films reveals the subtle exchanges that can ignite passion. When you use the online setting, there’s no rush to get acquainted. This allows conversations to develop. The more you get to know someone, the easier you’ll find it to introduce innuendos – bringing out your inner Richard Gere or Julia Roberts (referencing the latter of those movies!)

Developing your techniques

The four movies namechecked are, of course, merely the tip of a massive iceberg. In so many romcoms, and indeed, films from a variety of genres, the main protagonists often get down to serious flirting. Simply by observing the unfolding scenes, you can pick up on one-liners that can be ‘borrowed,’ or watch how so much flirting is down to non-conversational contact. It’s natural for people to throw up barriers, especially if they’ve been hurt when previous relationships didn’t end well. But one way of eroding these is to make someone feel at ease. You can do so by smiling and establishing strong eye contact; even mirroring their movements or gestures can be a comfort (in the context of digital dating sites, during video chats). A huge aspect of flirting is finding common ground. Everyone has a favorite film. Chat about these. Introduce film-related books into the discussions. Ask for recommendations. Crucially, use this empathy as a building block to then make suggestions about how particular films fill you with joy – and romance. Soon, you’ll be in a position to take your connection to the next level.

Taking flirting to the next level

How will you know if you’ve built a sufficient rapport to entice them to come out on a date with you? The chemistry will be undeniable. You’ll find yourself laughing at each other’s innuendos, and when you conclude one exchange, you’ll be eagerly anticipating the next one. There would be no harm in working on different ways to attract the attention of the person you’d like to initiate a relationship with. But in most cases, basic flirting techniques applied during digital chats will lay the foundation for meeting up in the real world. The only remaining question to be answered will involve the actual setting for this ‘dangerous liaison’ of your own. Of course, that 1988 movie starring John Malkovich, Glenn Close and Michelle Pfieffer, is all about verbal dexterity, with flirting being used for self-gain. In the real world, just be natural. You don’t even have to fret about introducing dazzling conversational icebreakers. Why not focus on something universally loved, like Disney films? Flirting needn’t be overly complicated, so all you’d have to do would be start chatting about your favorite characters. This franchise may have started with cartoons, but now they cover every aspect of human relationships. Streaming a few of these would be great for preparing to unleash your inner flirt!

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