AN UNHOLY WRECK
There are bad movies, and then there’s Terrifier 3, a festering pile of cinematic waste so atrocious that it’s not only the worst of the year but one of the worst I’ve ever had the displeasure of sitting through. Damien Leone couldn’t make a shittier movie if he tried. Hell, he may be a step above Tommy Wiseau (The Room) in terms of technical competence, but at least Wiseau’s ineptitude is unintentionally entertaining. Leone, on the other hand, is a talentless, unimaginative hack who has somehow managed to churn out this brain-dead drivel masquerading as a horror film.
There’s literally nothing of substance to write about because — spoiler alert — there’s no plot. The film stumbles from one absurd scene to the next without any semblance of narrative coherence. Every attempt to move the story forward is laughable at best and infuriating at worst. It’s as if Leone grabbed a handful of ideas out of a trash bin, threw them on the screen, and hoped something would stick. Spoiler alert: Nothing does. This is 125 minutes of meandering nonsense, dressed up in lazy jump scares and superficial shock value, with no sense of direction or pacing. You’ll spend the entire runtime wondering why you’re still sitting there.
And let’s talk about Art the Clown (David Howard Thornton), who was once at least a mildly interesting, menacing figure. In Terrifier 3, they gave him a sidekick. Yes, you heard that right. Because when a murderous clown isn’t working, why not give him an equally annoying companion in the form of Victoria Heyes, the stitched-up resurrection of the first film’s final girl. Her presence is supposed to add some new dynamic, but all it does is further strip away what little mystique Art had left. In fact, Art has become a hollow shell of his former self, a caricature of what made him remotely intriguing in the first place. There’s no mystique left — he’s just another tired, repetitive villain pulling the same tired tricks. He doesn’t scare, he doesn’t disturb, and worst of all, he doesn’t surprise. The clown has become a parody of himself, going through the motions in a predictable slog of pointless violence and soulless mischief. Art used to have teeth, now he’s gumming it.
Speaking of violence, it’s worth noting just how desperate this movie is to shock its audience. Terrifier 3 pushes its gore so hard, so relentlessly, that it reveals the cheapness beneath. The blood and guts feel less like a stylistic choice and more like a budget-saving trick. You can see the corners being cut, the shortcuts being taken. The over-the-top violence is meant to mask the film’s other glaring deficiencies, but all it does is highlight them. Every so-called “gruesome” scene is so stretched out and exaggerated that it crosses the line from grotesque to downright cartoonish. The fact that we’re supposed to be disturbed or impressed is laughable. If you’re going to rely on gore to carry a horror film, at least make it look good — or at the very least, give us a reason to care. But we don’t. The victims are bland, empty vessels we forget as soon as they’re introduced. The carnage holds zero weight because we’re given no reason to invest in these characters beyond their inevitable, meaningless slaughter.
Leone has no sense of pacing. Every scene lingers too long, every kill overstays its welcome. He doesn’t understand that the audience needs more than just buckets of blood. We need suspense, tension, character investment. But no, here we get nothing but empty spectacle, and not even good spectacle at that. It’s a hollow, soulless excuse for a film.
Fuck this thing. It blew. Terrifier 3 is a total failure — an irredeemable, mind-numbing experience that should be avoided at all costs.
stills courtesy Everett Collection / Cineverse
{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }
I think you’re forgetting its over the top for a reason. Have you seen the other two movies? If you dont want something like that then go watch a PG-13 Horror movie. You’re reviewing it as if its meant to mold into the shape of what other movies do.
“I think you’re forgetting it’s over the top for a reason.”
Oh, I see! Thank you so much for enlightening me. It’s over the top for a reason—what a revelation. You’re right; I must’ve missed the part where sheer incompetence is suddenly an artistic choice. If by “over the top” you mean it’s a mess of gratuitous violence, nonsensical plot points, and acting so bad it makes daytime soaps look like Oscar material, then sure, it’s “over the top.” And here I was thinking it was just bad. Thanks for the clarification.
“Have you seen the other two movies?”
Have I seen the other two movies? Unfortunately, yes. And guess what? They were just as terrible. You think watching the previous garbage heaps somehow makes this one better? If anything, it proves that Terrifier 3 follows in the proud tradition of being a brain-dead exercise in shock value with no substance. Watching all three just highlights how consistently awful Damien Leone’s work is. If you’re suggesting that sitting through more trash somehow prepares me to appreciate this trash, you’re out of your mind.
“If you don’t want something like that, then go watch a PG-13 horror movie.”
Ah, the classic “go watch a PG-13 horror movie” argument. It’s so cute when people trot this out as if gore alone makes a film good. Here’s a fun fact: great horror isn’t defined by how many buckets of blood you can throw at the screen. It’s defined by tension, atmosphere, character depth, and, you know, a plot that actually makes sense. But sure, let’s pretend that gore and endless splatter somehow elevate this film to genius. You can keep your cheap thrills and lazy storytelling. I’ll take quality horror any day.
“You’re reviewing it as if it’s meant to mold into the shape of what other movies do.”
Oh, forgive me for expecting basic storytelling competence. You’re absolutely right—how silly of me to expect things like coherent plots, characters we care about, and pacing that doesn’t feel like a root canal. No, let’s just throw all that out the window because Terrifier 3 is special. It doesn’t need to follow any of the rules of good filmmaking because it’s over the top for a reason, right? Spoiler alert: bad movies are still bad, even if they’re trying to be edgy or different. Trying to be “over the top” doesn’t excuse sloppy writing, terrible acting, or pointless gore.
So next time you want to defend a cinematic train wreck, at least come up with an argument that isn’t so embarrassingly weak. If Terrifier 3 is your idea of good horror, I truly feel sorry for whatever else you’ve subjected yourself to.