EVEN GOD CAN’T SAVE  THIS FROM ITSELF

Dear God (if I may quote Alice Walker):

What’s going on with the theater these days? Oh, that’s right, you already know. In fact, you’re appearing on stage at the Ahmanson in the guise of TV’s Will & Grace star Sean Hayes, whose name actually is placed over your name on the poster (doesn’t that just say it all?). But you know all of this, don’t you? Or do you? Well, if you are the all-knowing, all-seeing God, consider this a rhetorical letter. If you don’t exist at all, consider this a cry for help to the darkness.

This one-trick-pony of a show has the the affable Mr. Hayes playing himself possessed by you. Aided by  two angels — Gabriel, a  passive Commandment reader (James Gleason), and Michael, a  questioning audience roamer (David Josefsberg) — you (You?) have come to us to deliver a new set of 10 commandments, including one which notes, “Thou Shalt Not Tell Others Whom To Fornicate.” Between the casting of Hayes and you telling us how you did, in fact, create Adam and Steve, this essentially one-man play is more pro-gay than, well, the theater world in general.

Adapting from his book The Last Testament: A Memoir by God, erstwhile Daily Show head-writer David Javerbaum offers no shortage of rimshots and ruminations. Clearly, there is some fun to be had (I especially liked the update on the story of Noah), but Javerbaum misses the mark in offering profundity and searingly sidesplitting  puns — both of which he attempts.

Director Joe Mantello has Hayes sitting on a center-stage settee for most of the 90-minute talkfest, so while the Divine divan stays firm, the show sags. Even had Mantello steered Hayes to gaily skip about the stage, it wouldn’t have helped for two reasons. First, Hayes is a silly presence, and certainly not commanding. In the too-often-to-mention moments that my mind wandered, I imagined other great comics taking on this role (Jim Parsons played You on Broadway): Paul Lynde, Eve Arden, and — especially since Hayes/God castigates latecomers — Don Rickles. But, boy oh boy, Hayes does a great impression of a hissssssssing snake.

The other reason this is ultimately a shoulder-shrugging show is Javerbaum’s unwillingness (or inability) to either touch our hearts or make Your story current with topics that desperately need to be discussed on the stage. Does the show use humor to plumb the depths of our world’s greatest threats, namely overpopulation and endless consumption, a combination which has hastened pollution, greed and terrorism? No, instead it’s a liberally slanted dishfest in which Hayes-as-God offers off-and-on comedy and superficial quips such as, “I hate Sarah Palin.” I mean, I hate her, too. But, along with mentioning Justin Bieber and others, it’s a cheap shot. It is precisely this sort of diatribe that keeps earthbound what could have been a heavenly experience.

It certainly would have helped if we were served martinis such as the one Hayes sips on. This is a show which belongs in an intimate club where drinks can be ordered and we can take a break to stretch our legs. It’s actually a sin that folks pay up to $130 a pop to see this silliness. How much longer will the public shell out clams like this for a few snorts ‘n’ chuckles? Even with a well-lit, glitzy, talk-show set that resembles a cross between the Hollywood Bowl and the  gun barrel sequence from a James Bond film (Scott Pask, sets, Hugh Vanstone, lights), no one can deny that this belongs in a Fringe Festival as a one-hour show for fifteen bucks. Nothing wrong with that. But apparently, this is the cast size that theater can afford to produce right now: There’s a one-person show now playing at the Geffen (Thom Pain [based on nothing]), one which just closed at the Kirk Douglas Theatre (The Absolute Brightness of Leonard Pelkey), and one opening soon at the Ruskin (A Gambler’s Guide to Dying). While one-person shows can be astounding (Pelkey was one), it’s getting a little  out of hand.

I know I’m not supposed to ask you for anything God, but if you DO come to L.A. to deliver new commandments, how about, “Thou Shall Not Lie, Withhold Truth And Make a Living Off Of Self-Deception.”

photos by Jim Cox

An Act of God
Ahmanson Theatre, 135 N. Grand Ave
ends on March 13, 2016
for tickets, call 213.972.4400 or visit CTG

then plays Golden Gate Theatre in San Francisco
March 29-April 17, 2016
for tickets, visit SHNSF

then returns to the Booth on Broadway
opens May 2, 2016
for tickets, call 212.239.6200 or visit Telecharge