Kevin Bowen

VIOLATED CINEMA RULE PROVES PROPHETIC TO ENSUING MEDIOCRITY “Roger that.†They were trying to sneak that one past me. The first Bowen Rule of the Cinema: There has never been a good movie that contains the phrase “Copy that.†But what if they say, “Roger that,†instead? What then? Does the rule apply? Let’s face…

A WOMAN AND HER HORSE Poor Sham. In 1973, the magnificent chocolate stallion ran the second fastest time in the history of the Kentucky Derby. His mark remains to this day. He probably had the talent to win horse racing’s Triple Crown. Instead, he has gone down as the forgotten rival to a horse whose…

PLEASE “LIKE” THIS REVIEW I know I’m supposed to get out and help push. The fight for great cinema is on, and I’m expected to throw it into neutral, hop out, and chug-chug-chug with my hands on the door. We all have to get behind The Social Network and push the crowds to every mall…

WE’RE # 1 IN PUBLIC SCHOOLS THAT SUCK!!! I don’t like to pull out the phrases “important movie†and “This is the one movie you should see.†But if I had to describe a movie as important, and had to say there is one movie you should see, it’s Waiting For Superman. That’s not to…

CONSIDER LARGELY LETTING IN, EVEN IF NOT QUITE THE RIGHT ONE Life is unfair to middle children and remakes. If Matt Reeves’ vampire coming-of-age story Let Me In had been made before the Swedish original, Tomas Alfredsson’s Let The Right One In, would we automatically think it was the better of the two? Â  It didn’t…

THE WORLD IN AN ALTERNATE HISTORY At first sight, Mark Romanek’s Never Let Me Go is the Harry Potter film for a modern dystopia. It nails much of what I dislike about Hogwarts Academy – Â  the conformity, the noble-minded authoritarianism, the obedient little drone who achieves heroism through obedience and destiny rather than sacrifice. Created…

OMIGOD! Â  ANOTHER CLASSIC TOTALLY UPDATED! The Easy A might well be for a class in astronomy. This is supposed to be the movie in which the redhead “It” Girl Emma Stone (Superbad, Zombieland) is born as a star. If dying stars turn into black holes, sucking everything around them into eternal darkness, then movie stardom…

MORE REASONS TO LAMENT THE INTERNET The Internet was born out of the Cuban Missile Crisis. Military planners were confronted with the question of how to maintain command and control during a nuclear war. A decentralized method of electronic communication was proposed, leading to a communications system that could transport information long distances almost instantaneously….

CLOONEY CONTINUES TO GET IT RIGHT It’s time to submit a definition of the George Clooney hero. He’s an aging professional who has grown smarter than the system to which he has indentured himself. The distance between his intelligence and the system’s need for myopy breeds cynicism and alienation. Finding himself the villain of his…

IT’S A ROMANTIC COMEDY. Â  ANY QUESTIONS? Director: Didn’t this thing just direct itself? One of the great things about useless romantic comedies is how easily they break down into question and answer form. Observe the Drew Barrymore-Justin Long long-distance get-together Going the Distance. Q: Is it funny? A: Eh, not bad. The leads dish out…

A TOWN CALLED ARNENE (Film Critic Kevin Bowen is visiting his hometown – El Paso, Texas – and attending the third annual Plaza Classic Film Festival. The festival, running from Aug. 5 to Aug. 15 features 70 classic films. Bowen will write sporadic reports on the classic films that he watches at the festival.) —…

EXPECT THE EXPECTED Is this all that I have to look forward to? Three or four decades of looking back to the good old days? While I remain at an age when I can effectively deny the presence of gray hairs, I’m still displeased with this future. When I’m 60, will I look back or…

CRITICAL EYE ON THE POSSIBLY QUEER GUY (Film Critic Kevin Bowen is visiting his hometown – El Paso, Texas – and attending the third annual Plaza Classic Film Festival. The festival, running from Aug. 5 to Aug. 15 features 70 classic films. Bowen will write sporadic reports on the classic films that he watches at…

NOTES ON A FESTIVAL ———— Film Critic Kevin Bowen is visiting his hometown – El Paso, Texas – and attending the third annual Plaza Classic Film Festival. The festival, running from Aug. 5 to Aug. 15 features 70 classic films. Bowen will write sporadic reports on the classic films that he watches at the festival….

FUNERAL ATTENDANCE (YOUR OWN) This is the thing about a movie with a deep dark secret. The payoff should be about equal to or greater than the buildup. Â  It certainly shouldn’t feel like a letdown or a cop out. It should not be a way to get a likable character with a checkered past off…

BRÜNO IST DA BOMB How will you know if Brí¼no is your type of film? Answer this question. How do you feel about a running gag involving an exercise bike converted for use as a super-dildo? Funny? Or obnoxiously revolting? Compared to Sacha Baron Cohen’s breakthrough in Borat three years ago, Brí¼no is more outlandish,…

NOT A BUFFET OF LAUGHS, BUT A MODEST HELPING The Hangover  opens from the desert around Las Vegas. A man bleeds from his lip as he speaks into his cell phone. He instructs a faraway bride to hang up her bridal gown. She’s not going to need it. They don’t know where the groom has vanished….